He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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