Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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