She is in my trunk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?