I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I AM VODKA MAN
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.