Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish life had little blips of pornography

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  (778): I wish life had little blips of pornography http://tfl.nu/kuwx
  Replies (27) Good night (3719) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.

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  (201): halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them. http://tfl.nu/b2tk
  Replies (33) Good night (4622) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
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  (310): View more from California

  you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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  (310): you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/ad2i
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day

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  (617): started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day http://tfl.nu/20xi
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

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  (815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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  (860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj
  Replies (8) Good night (2911) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.

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  (518): The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession. http://tfl.nu/a7rm
  Replies (18) Good night (1301) Bad night (3594) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
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  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

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  (262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410
  Replies (8) Good night (817) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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  (443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9
  Replies (10) Good night (1824) Bad night (344)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....

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  (202): Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed.... http://tfl.nu/91um
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  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.

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  (480): Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now. http://tfl.nu/9q96
  Replies (0) Good night (231) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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