Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.

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  (313): Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite. http://tfl.nu/pt3f
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (2964)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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  (937): oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing http://tfl.nu/lc8m
  Replies (75) Good night (5594) Bad night (896)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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  (516): Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates. http://tfl.nu/it76
  Replies (7) Good night (592) Bad night (2313)
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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (942) Bad night (10378)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (727) Bad night (2548)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  well, dont

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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  (720): So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face. (970): well, dont (720): I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it. http://tfl.nu/lbqb
  Replies (32) Good night (6275) Bad night (898)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"

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  (410): I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis" http://tfl.nu/6z4n
  Replies (29) Good night (12913) Bad night (1107)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.

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  (817): she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it. http://tfl.nu/rt8c
  Replies (10) Good night (3950) Bad night (1033)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2750) Bad night (814)
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  (718): View more from New York

  According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

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  (718): According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago. http://tfl.nu/y0dx
  Replies (5) Good night (2552) Bad night (768)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.

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  (480): I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level. http://tfl.nu/m64o
  Replies (5) Good night (3000) Bad night (588)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

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  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1326) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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  (616): I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!" http://tfl.nu/jxqn
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia

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  (615): I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia http://tfl.nu/u6m4
  Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (502)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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  (814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe
  Replies (1) Good night (814) Bad night (306)

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