How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?