So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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