All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
