I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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