TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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