break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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