literally had 100 drinks last night.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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