$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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