Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
