ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
