Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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