so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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