Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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