Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
