I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize