well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
