party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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