Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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