I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
