WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.