you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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