Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
