i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
