if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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