i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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