OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
