My friends, they love my intelligence
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
