a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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