Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I intend to get homeless drunk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
