I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
so much tequila, so little girl.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
