girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
