I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
