PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
