I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
