Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
