my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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