Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
