This girl is more easily done than said...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
