He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
