your room smells of hookers.
And success
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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