Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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