turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's great music for shaving your balls
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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