so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's rum buckets o'clock
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
