So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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