I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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