a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
