I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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