I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So here I am, sexting at work.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
