She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize