i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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