Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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