It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
