No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
