its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
