There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
